Terms

Plain language, because the thing being sold is already absurd enough.

What you are buying

You are buying temporary promotional placement on this website: your name, message, image and link displayed on the homepage for as long as you hold the throne. That is the entire product.

You are not buying the Internet. Nobody is selling the Internet. Nobody can. The ownership described everywhere on this site is symbolic and confers no rights over any network, domain, protocol, trademark, or property of any kind.

How long it lasts

Until somebody pays more. There is no minimum duration and none is implied. Your reign may end seconds after it begins, and that is a normal outcome rather than a fault. If a short reign would upset you, this is not a product you should buy.

Auctions and card authorizations

When several people try to buy the throne at once, the site runs a live auction. Placing a bid authorizes your card for the bid amount. An authorization is a hold, not a charge.

• If you win, the authorization is captured and you are charged.
• If you lose, the authorization is released. Your bank may continue to display the held amount for a short period afterwards; that timing is your bank’s, not ours.
• If the winner’s payment fails at capture, the throne passes to the next highest valid bidder at their own bid amount, not the winner’s.

Content

The restrictions are listed in the rules. You are responsible for what you publish here and for where your link sends people. You confirm you have the right to use the name, image, and destination you submit.

Moderation

We may remove content, disable a destination link, ban a domain, or ban an email address, at our discretion, where content breaks the rules or creates risk for the people who visit this site. Historical records of transactions are never deleted; removed reigns remain in the record, marked as removed.

Refunds

Being dethroned is not grounds for a refund, however quickly it happens. That is the mechanic you paid to take part in.

We will refund a payment that was taken in error, taken twice, or taken for a reign that never became active. Refunds in any other circumstance, including content removal, are at our discretion.

Payment disputes

Payments are processed by Stripe and are subject to Stripe’s terms. If you believe a charge is wrong, contact us before raising a chargeback — it is faster, and we can see exactly what happened. Raising a chargeback may result in the associated reign being removed and the email address being banned from future purchases.

Availability

This site is provided as-is. We do not promise it will be available continuously, and we do not owe compensation for downtime, including downtime during a reign you paid for.

LAST UPDATED AUGUST 2026